From the Desk of Dr Daniel Jackson
by Cora Clavia
Summary: Daniel doesn't normally have this kind of trouble writing mission reports.
1. Chapter 1

_Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter -_

Daniel stares at the flashing cursor on his computer screen. Drums his fingers on the desktop.

He's a scholar by trade. Normally, he can write up a full report, complete with footnotes, in ten minutes. Half an hour for longer missions. Now, though, he's having trouble finding the right words.

He thinks for a long moment, and slowly types the rest of the sentence.

 _\- accidentally ingested drinks that contained a fermented local herb._

* * *

It was nobody's fault.

The Nevretannae were friendly, effusive, hardworking folks, fresh off a successful harvest. The village feast was in full swing when SG-1 showed up, and naturally, they were invited to join in.

It was nobody's fault that some well-meaning villager handed Sam and Jack cups of what looked - and tasted - like the honeyed berry juice the children were drinking.

* * *

 _The two of them became disoriented._

* * *

Daniel didn't notice anything wrong for a while.

As wary as he was of local celebrations at times - there was that one unfortunate incident when he'd confused the words for "bread" and "prostitute" - the food was delicious, the people were friendly, and there was even a little cluster of musicians playing something pleasant and lilting on pipes and zithers.

He really thought this was a good day.

He certainly wasn't prepared to stumble across Sam and Jack hiding in the shadows beside the granary, playing an enthusiastic round of tonsil hockey.

* * *

 _Teal'C and I assisted them in returning to our base camp._

* * *

Daniel's initial attempt to pry them apart didn't work. He ended up on the ground, nursing what would be a pretty decent bruise on his tailbone, and Jack and Sam went right back to rounding first base and inching towards second.

It took Teal'C's help to finally drag Sam off Jack's lap, though even then, they weren't happy about it.

Daniel asked one of the elders for cups of water. It seemed to help, at least a little; at least Jack and Sam stopped trying to actively take each other's clothes off. They kept staring at each other, though, and that was almost worse. Almost.

* * *

 _We decided to bring them back to the SGC for observation and treatment._

* * *

By the time they got back to the site they'd set up as camp, Sam had passed out, and Jack was only half-conscious.

Teal'C set Sam gently on the ground to pack up the rest of their gear, and Daniel guided a woozy, stumbling Jack over to sit beside her. "Hang tight, Jack. We'll be ready in a minute."

It only took Daniel and Teal'C half the usual time to break down the tents and tuck the rest of their kit into their packs. Luckily, this mission was a short one; they didn't have too much gear. Since half the team was out of commission, that would save them an extra hike.

Daniel zipped up the last pouch on his pack and turned back to where they'd left Sam and Jack. "Okay, guys, we should - oh."

Jack had pulled Sam's limp body into his arms. He was propped up against a boulder, Sam's head resting on his shoulder, and Jack's face was pressed against her hair.

Daniel huffs. _Guys. Really?_

"Come on, Jack. Let's get you guys home."

* * *

 _Our trip back to the Stargate was uneventful_.


	2. Chapter 2

Daniel finally prints out his mission report, signs it, and drops it off for General Hammond.

For what it's worth, there's not a false word in it.

* * *

He stops by the infirmary on his way back to his office. Jack and Sam are in adjacent beds, and there are a few nurses hovering nearby, checking vitals. Sam's still out cold, but her face has more color than it did, and she looks healthier.

Jack's watching her sleep, something unreadable on his face, but he looks up when Daniel gets to him.

"Hey, Jack. How are you feeling?"

Jack grimaces. " _Really_ hungover."

"Sorry." Daniel shoves his hands in his pockets. "But you're both going to be fine?"

"That's what they tell me."

"Good."

Jack nods slowly. "Look, Daniel. I just want to say - what you saw -"

"You were drugged. So was she. It was an accident." Jack still looks wary. "You were both disoriented. And that's what my report says."

"Okay -"

"That's _all_ my report says."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They fall silent for a while. Jack picks at an invisible thread on the infirmary blanket and watches Sam out of the corner of his eye. Daniel's used to this. Jack doesn't really do big emotional conversations.

And SG-1 has an unspoken understanding that no one talks about Jack and Sam. They all just pretend there's nothing there.

"Thanks," Jack finally says.

Daniel shrugs. "You and Sam should really talk about it."

"Yeah." Jack glances over at the sheet. "When she wakes up."

"Of course." Daniel doesn't have much more to say. "Well, I should go. Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Right."

"See you later?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Daniel and Teal'C get lunch together in the commissary. It's late; there are only a few other people around, and they grab SG-1's usual table.

"Did you finish your report?" Daniel asks around a mouthful of turkey sandwich.

"I did."

"What did you write?"

"I gave a truthful accounting of the facts." Teal'C fixes him with a keen look. "I stated that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter ingested an unknown substance. It made them ill. You and I assisted them in returning to the Stargate."

Daniel smiles into his coffee cup. "Yeah, that's what I wrote." Great minds." Not for the first time, he wonders if SG-1 are developing a hive mind.

"I see no reason to burden General Hammond with a lengthy report of irrelevant facts."

"I agree."

The two of them finish their lunch in companionable silence.

* * *

Daniel staggers into the elevator, his arms full of reference books, and manages to jam his elbow into the button for the floor he needs without dropping anything. It's a necessary skill for a scholar. He's gotten good at it.

As the elevator slowly rises, he finds himself thinking about his teammates. Normally, he stays out of Jack and Sam's relationship. He's known Jack longer than she has, sure, but the two of them have the Air Force in common, combat experience, careers that have given them particular perspectives.

And as if that weren't enough, there's all that… _tension_.

Daniel shifts the books in his arms. He's not military, but he's worked here long enough to know that there are some very concrete rules. Rules that don't bend. Rules that Sam and Jack are careful not to break.

Of course, now that they've accidentally been drugged into making out like a pair of horny teenagers, how awkward would _that_ conversation be?

Jack might ignore it. Let time diffuse the discomfort. After all, they're both professionals. And heaven knows they've all done some dumb things by accident off-world.

The elevator dings, coming to a halt, and Daniel steps out into the corridor and heads for the office.

Halfway there, though, he notices Jack. Janet released him earlier, Daniel knows; being physically smaller, Sam got the worse end of the dosing, so she's still in observation.

Jack's headed back towards the infirmary, though, oblivious to Daniel's presence.

He's carrying a dish of blue Jell-O. And two spoons.


End file.
